Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Drunk Me Vs. Sober Me Fantasy Football!

This is the problem with fantasy football that dare not speak its name:


Playing While Sober Is Embarrassingly Stressful.


Sober me is a weenie. Sober me knows that she will ultimately be responsible for her bad choices in a legally-binding court of laughing peers. Sober me is aware of the sheer avalanche of knowledge required to be good at fantasy football, and that the effort required is stupidly disproportionate to the task. Sober me picks Peyton Manning, but feels hollow about it.

But drunk me?


But drunk me is not afraid to make the bold, non-sensical choices. Drunk me picks Drew Brees and Calvin Johnson, because bringing them together and away from their respective mediocre WRs and QB means that they will obviously play better. Drunk me picks the Browns' defense, because continuing to not pick the Browns' D would be foolishly disregarding the law of averages. Drunk me picks Troy Aikman, even though I have concerns about his refusal to change out of his suit.



WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING THERE?! THROW ON A JETS JERSEY! 

And yet, strangely, Drunk Me tends to do better. But the important part is that Drunk Me is free to be unapologetically shitty at this. And isn't that what fun is supposed to be? A humiliation amnesty zone? 



Right?

So obviously,

QuarterRack Will Be Pitting Drunk Me Against Sober Me!

Here is how this will work: 

A. I will be playing salary-cap style. 

B. Every week, Drunk Me and Sober Me will take turns making selections/trades first. Sober Me won the coin toss, so Sober Me will be going first. The second me to pick each week cannot have more than three (3) similar players to the other's roster, but for reasons you are about to experience, this will be a moot point.

C. As soon as Drunk Me and Sober Me make our selections, they will be posted here, along with important footnotes.
J/K, we'll just do the drunk picks.

D. After each weekend, we will tally the scores, the running scores, and the amount of times Drunk Me was right for incredibly inane reasons.  

E. Winner has to do all of the loser's laundry for a week!

--

Would you like to play against drunk and sober me? Why, of course you would!

We are playing here
The Group ID number: seven zero one eight. 
The Group password: grossman. (I believe this is case sensitive)

Get to it!

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