Wednesday, August 19, 2009

This is Why We Say No Comment/Ron Turner, Unhelpful

(This is the beginning of a series we will alternately call 

THIS IS WHY WE SAY NO COMMENT.

or

RON TURNER, YOU ARE NOT HELPING.

depending on whether or not the coordinator/line coach who has ditched his spokesman at Denny's is named Ron Turner or not.

Let us be serious, he will mostly be named Ron Turner.)


Shall we check in with The Bearkfast Club?

You probably know all about the glowing rainbow kisses everyone had for Jay+Greg = 4evers during camp.

Unfortunately, Saturday's game v. the Bills instead prominently featured the much more disappointing Jay +/- Stop Talking About My Diabetes(I LIKE PARTY) x (How Much For A Suitcase Full Of Nachos) + Normal Adjustment Period(STOP CALLING ME FAT)  ≈ Fuck That Hester Guy.

Reporter: WTF was with that pass you under threw?

Jay: "Devin is more of a go-get-it guy; he is not really a back shoulder or jump-up-and-get-it [guy],"Cutler said Saturday. "You learn from it."





To Hester's credit, Hester took what was ostensibly a Pretty Dick Move and tried to bury it, as even he is aware that Michael Vick coming back from the dead is what you call a gift from the News Cycle Gods, and that one must not squander it. 

--

So, TEN MILLION BASQUILLION BATMAN TRILLION guesses as to who is not aware of that?

"I look at [Cutler's shitty attitude] as a good thing," [Ron] Turner said. "He's got an edge about him that you better have if you're going to be an elite quarterback in this league."

"We don't want to temper [Cutler's shitty attitude] too much," Turner said. "Jay is an emotional guy and he's a fiery guy and he's a fiery competitor. That's why he's an elite quarterback [who left the Broncos due to his shitty attitude]."

"....Jay + Ron = Dinner on Saturday?"

sigh.

THIS IS WHY WE SAY NO COMMENT.

Also,

RON TURNER, YOU ARE NOT HELPING.

 

Well, at least that was the end of that drama OH NOOOOOO:

"There are a lot of things said when we're not playing the type of football we know we are capable of," [Lovie] Smith said.


...FEEL THE RAIN ON YOOOUUR SKIN! 
NO ONE ELSE CAN FEEL IT FOR YOU Oh Jesus, moving on.

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