Thursday, August 20, 2009

A Magical Safari Through Uncomfortable Moments in Press Conference Advertising, Michael Vick:

(Everybody knows that August the month of news molasses/inconsequential drama/frolicking gaily with our heads detached from our bodies like poultry is wont to do. But it matters not what news you hit us over the heads with, Mrs. Favre, Vick, and Cable; it only matters who finds themselves caught shilling for you in the background when you break it.)

Michael Vick Comeback Concert!

Brought to you by...

...the fuck?

The fuck is this? Is this science? 

Oh! Direct-to-consumer pharmaceutical marketing, you say? About the discontinuation of the old inhaler chemical known as CFC, you say?

Due to their violently ripping holes in the ozone layer, you say?

Bad, CFC inhalers! BAD! Stop tearing holes in things, while the cops are still out front. 

...But Teva Pharmaceuticals' replacement chemical is totally awesome, you say? Citing predominantly one source, you say? But you don't really understand the point of citations, you say? 

Source 5 is Logic!

Well, alright then. 

Michael Vick! -- Brought to you by Teva Specialty Pharmaceuticals, Because What The Hell Are You Going To Do About It, Dog-Lover, Boycott The Environment?

I was going to go check out the section for medical professionals, but I got stopped by this guy:

Sorry, sorry! Next time I'll bring a note. 

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